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frugality

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates His Own ‘Stanley Cup’

January 13, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area man Stanley Wolgemuth is capitalizing on the Stanley cup craze by creating one of his own … using only a McDonald’s paper cup, some masking tape, and a little bit of ingenuity. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Feeds Entire Family on Costco Hot Dogs

December 19, 2023 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The Wiens family of Linden loaded up the Dodge Caravan this afternoon for their weekly trip to Costco to enjoy really cheap hot dogs. “This time we brought along Oma and Opa and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Seniors Rush to Grab Free Eggplants in Lobby

October 10, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB As soon as the residents of Golden Mennos Retirement Home saw on their lobby-cams that someone had dropped off free eggplants, there was a wild dash to the lobby. “Argh, Mrs. Kroeker always […]

Unger Suspicion

50 Cent and Nickelback Team Up to Offer 45 Cent Concert Tickets

September 16, 2023 Andrew

HANNA, AB Rapper 50 Cent and rockers Nickelback are embarking on a cross-continent co-headlining concert tour with prices at just 45 cents a ticket. “We’re going to visit all the small town fall suppers this […]

Unger Suspicion

Bargain-Hungry Mennonites Fill Arena for 50 Cent Concert

September 13, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Early estimates indicate “more than half of Winkler” is at the 50 Cent concert in Winnipeg tonight. Never wanting to pass up a bargain, even Winkler’s staunchest country fans were persuaded to take […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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