United Church Totally Rips Off Mennonite Hymnal


The United Church of Canada is coming under fire this week for ripping off all their best ideas from the Mennonites, most importantly their hymnal.

“Voices Together. Voices United. You thought you’d get away with that,” said Mennonite pastor Ron of Winnipeg. “What’s next? You’re going to start singing 606?”

The hymnal is not the only thing the United Church had been accused of stealing.

“I hear their church in Steinbach is using an old Mennonite church building,” said Dan. “I guess it’s okay then. It think it was the MBs.”

A spokesperson for the United Church says they had not intentions of stealing anything from the Mennonites.

“Except maybe for commitment to non-violence or something.”

The Mennonites say they’ll let it slide this time, as they have bigger fish to fry.

“I hear there’s an Anglican Church in town that does faspa and crokinole tournaments,” said Dan. “And the Lutherans are known for stealing our roll kuchen recipe.”

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