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frugality

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Orders Child Size Coke and Stays All Afternoon for Refills

August 6, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man and financial advisor Mr. Kornelsen decided he’d get the biggest bang for his buck if he ordered a kid’s size Coke and down refill after refill all afternoon at his local […]

The Daily Bonnet

Economical Mennonite Woman’s Been Using the Same Mask Since This Whole Thing Started

July 26, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Mrs. Thiessen, 73, of Rosenort is renowned throughout the Scratching River Settlement for her tremendous ability to “do more with less.” This includes using the very same cheap disposable face mask her son […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Consumes 4L of Ice Cream Just for the Pail

July 3, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Braun was so desperate for a fresh used ice cream pail that she downed four litres of Foremost chocolate ice cream in one epic evening. “I was looking at my collection of […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Mom Super Excited About Her Brand New Set of ‘Mennonite Tupperware’

June 22, 2020 Andrew

DALMENY, SK Area mom Linda Doerksen, 34, was absolutely pumped when Mrs. Martens dropped off a set of Mennonite Tupperware including three freshly-rinsed margarine containers, two slightly-used cottage cheese containers, and four totally-empty sour cream […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Free Cotton Swab’ Giveaway Has Mennonites Lined Up for Blocks

June 15, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mennonites across northern Saskatchewan were super excited when they heard about this brand new trajchtmoaka in the city who was handing out ‘free cotton swabs’ to anyone and everyone who showed up asking. “Oba, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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