Economical Mennonite Woman’s Been Using the Same Mask Since This Whole Thing Started


Mrs. Thiessen, 73, of Rosenort is renowned throughout the Scratching River Settlement for her tremendous ability to “do more with less.” This includes using the very same cheap disposable face mask her son Darryl brought home from work a few months ago.

“Fished that thing out of the garbage can, I did!” explained Mrs. Thiessen. “This brown withered face mask will live to see another day!”

Mrs. Thiessen has also reused the same tea bag for going on ten years and has rewashed and reused the same ice cream pail since her Penner Foods days.

“I’m the original recycler!” said Mrs. Thiessen. “All these young people nowadays are so wasteful! Just last week I saw young Tyron Neufeld toss a perfectly good paper plate right in the trash! That plate could have been piled with potato salad a good thirty or forty more times!”

Despite appearances to the contrary, Mrs. Thiessen is fully on board with the provincial health guidelines.

“I urge everyone in Rosenort to wear a mask,” said Mrs. Thiessen. “And once you’re done with it, send it over to me. I’ll find a use for it!”

Mrs. Thiessen is rumoured to be constructing the world’s largest quilt made from used Covid masks.

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