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football

Unger Games

Taylor Swift Leads Kansas City to Super Bowl LVIII

January 28, 2024 Andrew

KANSAS CITY, MO With a stunning 17-10 victory over the Baltimore Ravens this afternoon, Kansas City Chiefs superstar Taylor Swift has punched her team’s ticket to Super Bowl LVIII in Las Vegas. “Kansas City is […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Kids Excited for New ‘Princess Elsa Stadium’

January 25, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Children all over the Winnipeg metro area (so, like, umm, Winnipeg plus Niverville or something) were super excited about the announcement of the new Princess Elsa Stadium. “They’re losing sleep over it,” said […]

Unger Games

Blue Jays Sign Ohtani to Hit, Pitch, and Also Quarterback the Argos

December 8, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Shohei Ohtani is set to become Toronto’s first three-way player this week, after agreeing to a massive multi-year contract to hit and pitch for the Blue Jays. His duties will also include quarterbacking […]

Unger Games

Indiana Church Starts Campaign to Help White Billionaire Pay Traffic Ticket

November 24, 2023 Andrew

INDIANAPOLIS, IN Indiana residents are being asked to reach deep into their pockets this week and lend a hand to local white billionaire and Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay in his time of need. “We’ve […]

Unger Games

Canadian Swifties Demand Taylor Date at Least One CFL Star

September 25, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After word got out that Taylor Swift was dating NFL star Travis Kelce, north-of-the-border Swifties are demanding that she “stop ignoring our league.” “What has she got against Canadian football? There’s a lot […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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