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food

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Attends Super Bowl Party Just for the Snacks

February 12, 2023 Andrew

AKRON, PA Even before the opening kickoff, Mrs. Funk had already filled three Tupperware containers with snacks at the West Akron Mennonite Church Super Bowl party. “What a beautiful array of dainties this year,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Shocked that No One Starved at Recent Gathering

December 29, 2022 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC Despite making enough food to feed the entire town of Black Creek, Mrs. Kroeker was utterly shocked that none of the Kroeker clan starved at the recent gathering. “There were 17 of […]

Unger Suspicion

Americans Accuse Canada of “Premature Thankfulness”

October 9, 2022 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Millions of Americans have signed a petition to stop Canada from celebrating Thanksgiving early. “This premature thankfulness has got to stop,” said Mr. Frey of Elkhart, Indiana. “I’ve got some cousins up there […]

Unger Suspicion

“It’s all starting to taste like Mennonite food!” Says Joe Biden After Losing Sense of Taste and Smell

July 24, 2022 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC White House physicians are getting really concerned after President Joe Biden has started to complain that all the rich and spicy food he was eating was starting to taste “as bland as Mennonite […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man to Increase Gas Production

March 24, 2022 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Fraser Valley gas producer Marty Klassen, 48, is responding to the worldwide oil and gas shortage by ramping up production of his own. “If OPEC isn’t going to do it, then I guess […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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