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Unger & Thirst

Lemonade Stand Money Goes Directly to Dad

June 12, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Like all money generated by any member of the Wiens family, the income produced by Susie and Danny’s lemonade stand this weekend went directly to their father. “If they’re living under my […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Accidentally Consumes a Vegetable

June 12, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Local man Klass Klassen, 53, was rushed to the hospital this past week after it was discovered he had inadvertently consumed two carrots and a few florets of broccoli. “Mennonites are highly allergic […]

Unger & Thirst

Faspa Cancelled After Church Runs Out of Bothwell Cheese

May 28, 2017 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB For the first time since the Great Depression, the weekly faspa at New Bothwell MEMB church had to be cancelled this Sunday after Mrs. Loewen forgot to pick up the required three […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Becomes Completely Obsessed with Jollibee

May 27, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB When Filipino fast food giant Jollibee opened up in Winnipeg, Garth and Pamela Friesen of North Kildonan were lured in by the smiling cartoon bee and the chance to try sweet spaghetti. Since it opened […]

Unger & Thirst

Maid of Honour Toasts Bride With Glass of Water

May 24, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Guests at the Harder-Peters wedding this past weekend were busy enjoying a pleasant Mennonite meal in the church basement when it was time for the toasts to the bride and groom. “I’ve known Cynthia […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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