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Unger Games

Desperate Winnipeg Jets Recruiting Farm Boys Near Kleefeld

July 16, 2019 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After losing player after player to free agency this summer, the Winnipeg Jets have had to get a little creative to fill their roster for next season. “We’re basically going out into the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Accidentally Speaks Plautdietsch Outside the Barn

June 3, 2019 Andrew

GRUENFELD, MB Mr. Johan Pauls was rapt in conversation with his shekbenjel Charlie Wiens when they absent-mindedly wandered outside the hog barn and were heard speaking Plautdietsch all over the yard. Gruenfeld Police were immediately […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau Makes Official Visit to Mennonite Church Wearing Rubber Boots and Suspenders

March 6, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Prime Minister Justin Trudeau brought along an entourage of more than three hundred people to the small Mennonite town of Altona, Manitoba this past week and out of respect for the local culture, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Schekjbenjel to Marry Malkmäakjskhe

November 27, 2017 Andrew

THALBACH, MEXICO Mr. Peter and Aganetha Krahn of Swift Current Colony, Mexico are pleased to announce the engagement of their 18-year-old Malkmäakjskhe Susan to local Schekjbenjel Harry Wall of nearby Manitoba Colony. The wedding is to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Report: Cows Don’t Like Being Tipped

June 30, 2017 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK According to a recent study from the University of Saskatoon, cows, particularly Holsteins and Herefords, prefer not to be tipped over on their sides while they sleep. “It’s shocking really,” said study co-ordinator […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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