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The Daily Bonnet

“He’s a 10 but….” (Mennonite Version)

October 15, 2022 Andrew

I’ve never been on TikTok. I barely know what it is. But, apparently, the entire purpose is to ask people how they’d rate other people on a scale of 1 to 10, yet. Like, my […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Boy Takes Girl to Church on First Date

November 22, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Nervous Peter, 18, finally worked up the courage to ask out Melissa who sits three seats in front of him in Mr. Epp’s period 3 Math class at WC Miller Collegiate. To his […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Impresses Woman With His Ability to Consume Raw Rhubarb

October 2, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Corny Wall, 21, of Swift Current consumed stick after stick of raw rhubarb this weekend all in an effort to win the heart of his crush Lina Kornelsen. “Oba, if Lina doesn’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Select the Perfect Pair of Crocs for a Night on the Town

July 7, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Sawatzkys of North Kildonan decided to treat themselves to a night on the town this weekend and pulled up to Rae and Jerry’s Steakhouse wearing their finest Crocs. “It’s not every day […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Refunded Tuition After Graduating Bible School Single

May 7, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Samantha Peters, 22, was the lone unmarried graduate at Vankla Bible Institute this spring and, thus, was refunded her full tuition including the cost of textbooks. “Ugh, well, I guess I just wasted […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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