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craft beer

Unger & Thirst

Impossible to Tell if Bearded Friend is Mennonite or Just Really Into Craft Beer

October 18, 2020 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN When a bearded young man named David moved to Goshen from the country a few months ago, his physical appearance had friendly locals unsure whether to invite him to a Bible study or […]

Unger & Thirst

Craft Beer Snob Ruins Church Men’s Fishing Weekend By Bringing Nothing But Really Bitter IPAs

June 28, 2019 Andrew

LAKE OF THE WOODS, MN After the disaster this past weekend, the church men of Mountain Lake, Minnesota will no longer invite 25-year-old college student and pastor’s son Dylan on their fishing trips. The group […]

Unger & Thirst

Conservative Mennonite Church Approves Drinking Bud Light ‘Since it’s Not Really Beer Anyway’

January 6, 2018 Andrew

JANSEN, NE A strict Mennonite church in the small town of Jansen, Nebraska has broken decades of teetotaller tradition by approving the consumption of Bud Light. At a membership meeting on Saturday, the church board […]

Unger & Thirst

Prankster Leaves Cases of ‘Free Beer’ on Mennonite Doorsteps

September 9, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Home-owners across southern Manitoba were shocked to find cases of ‘free beer’ on their doorsteps this morning. Apparently, late last night some prankster decided to test out the theory of whether Mennonites would […]

Unger & Thirst

New Steinbach Craft Brewer Forced By Law to Make Root Beer

August 6, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB As increasing numbers of people around the world abandon the flavourless swill produced by the large brewing companies, closet Mennonite drinkers, too, have been embracing smaller locally made craft beer. Steinbach, Manitoba, for […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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