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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Student Accidentally Enrolls at Carnegie Mellon University

April 24, 2024 Andrew

PITTSBURGH, PA Andrea Enns, 18, of North Kildonan was really looking forward to attending CMU in Winnipeg this fall only to discover that she’d actually enrolled at some university in Pennsylvania instead. “I guess it’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Thousands Line Up for CMU’s Annual Farmer Sausage Blowout

April 27, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The lineup at CommonWord stretched more than three miles down Shaftesbury Blvd. this week for CMU’s annual farmer sausage sale. “We’re Canadian Mennonite University’s bookstore and resource centre so naturally we have a […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Vows Never Again to Ask English Prof to Read the Children’s Story

October 26, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB All the children ages 3 to 11 at East Winnipeg MBCC church were called up to the front for the children’s story this Sunday morning, when renowned CMU English professor Dr. Leroy Klippenstein […]

Unger Conviction

“Hymn 606 is Over-rated,” Declares Mennonite Hipster

April 1, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tyson Hendrix-Wiebe, a 22-year-old CMU student, caused quite a stir on social media this week after declaring Hymn 606 to be “like, totally, over-rated.” “All those people who claim they like 606 are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Boy Wears MCC Peace Button to Pick Up Mennonite Girls

November 10, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local college student Jesse Linklater sported one of those “To Remember is to Work for Peace” buttons all around the Canadian Mennonite University campus this week in an attempt to attract the attention […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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