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The Daily Bonnet

Local Soccer Mom Undergoes Surgery to Become Hockey Mom

November 12, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area woman, Jessica V. Brandt, has recently undergone plastic surgery just in time for the winter hockey season. “I have this procedure done once a year,” said Brandt. “As soon as the kids start […]

Unger & Thirst

Court Rules that Mennonites Are Allowed to Keep Their Masks on in the Liquor Store

October 15, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A Steinbach judge ruled today in favour of religious freedom, allowing Mennonites to wear full facial masks in “potentially embarrassing” public places like the liquor store or casino. “I’m pleased with the decision,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandmother Reacts With Disgust to Granddaughter’s Top

September 17, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mary Esau, 72, of Altona, Manitoba was completely disgusted this past week by her granddaughter’s striped tank-top and skinny jeans. Lindsay Esau, 23, had taken time out of her busy University schedule to drive […]

Unger Suspicion

Tourists Shocked by Absence of Bonnets in Southern Manitoba

September 6, 2016 Andrew

NEUBERGTHAL, MB With an attractive exchange rate and lower fuel prices, thousands of tourists from North Dakota and Minnesota have been lured north over the border to Manitoba this summer, due in part to the […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Woman Still Can’t Tell the Difference Between Mennonites and Hutterites

August 3, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After living in southern Manitoba for more than two decades, Samantha Williams, originally from Saskatoon, still can’t tell the difference between the various Anabaptist denominations. “There’s the Mennonites – I think they’re the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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