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clothing

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Consults ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ for Wardrobe Advice

February 15, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local senior, Helen Stoesz, was shocked by the misleading content of the popular book Fifty Shades of Grey, which she purchased used at the local MCC store hoping for advice on how to update her […]

The Daily Bonnet

Body Odour to be Bottled and Sold as ‘Eau de Menno’ Cologne

February 12, 2017 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON The body odour of dozens of hard-working Mennonite men has been extracted using a special process and been used to create a brand new cologne, which will be marketed and sold as Eau […]

The Daily Bonnet

Single Uncle Elmer Refuses to Date Women Who Wear Pants

February 11, 2017 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Uncle Elmer Jansen, 71, has been single his whole life for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is his absolute refusal to date women who wear pants or “Satan’s slacks” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lingerie Now Available at Aganetha’s Secret

January 23, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Ladies all around the Altona area are really excited about the opening of a new store that specializes in Mennonite lingerie. Started by local woman Mrs. Aganetha Siemens, 63, the new store features undergarments […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party…or Mennonite Family Gathering?

December 28, 2016 Andrew

CORN, OK Unintentionally ugly Christmas sweaters were on full display at the Kliewer family Christmas gathering this past week. Only Grandma Kliewer was unaware of just how hideous the sweaters were. “I’m so glad to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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