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clothing

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Caught Smuggling Dirty Rubber Boots Across the Border

June 19, 2018 Andrew

WINDSOR, ON A Canadian Mennonite family has been detained at the Windsor-Detroit border this afternoon after the Canadian border officer spotted Mr. Friesen’s dirty rubber boots and suspected their might be a problem. “How long […]

Unger Suspicion

Don Cherry Says Suit is Inspired By Mennonite Floor Patterns

May 31, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON CBC broadcasting legend Don Cherry is known for his loud clothing, but throughout the playoffs he has been sporting “suits inspired by Mennonite floor patterns.” “I’ve been to Neubergthal and the museum there […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Nylons Now Come in Three New Shades of Brown

April 29, 2018 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mennonite ladies across Southern Manitoba were excited to discover all the new shades of brown being offered by their local nylon stocking supplier. In addition to the classic chestnut brown, Mennonite nylons now […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Fans Ruin Winnipeg Jets Whiteout By Wearing All Black Suits

April 12, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Apparently unaware of the long-standing playoff tradition of wearing white, local Old Order Mennonite Peter Friesen decided to wear his very best black suit to Vanapag Yats game this week. “Vell, I vanted […]

Unger Suspicion

Here’s Your Winnipeg Weather Forecast for the Next Few Months

April 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It looks like an extended winter this year in Winnipeg. Daily Bonnet meteorologists have examined the evidence and are officially predicting whiteout conditions well into June. “No early spring this year,” said Daily […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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