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Unger & Thirst

Liquor Store Undergoes Expansion; Now the Largest Church in Town

March 10, 2018 Andrew

ALT-BERGFELD, MB After a massive expansion to the local liquor store, residents of a small Mennonite town are now admitting that it’s the “largest church in town.” “More people stop by to pick up a two-four of […]

Unger & Thirst

Pastor Shortens Sermon to Allow More Time to Eat Paska Buns

April 16, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pastor Dave at East Winkler EBMC church decided to cut his Easter sermon short this morning in order to allow his eager parishioners more time to gorge themselves on delicious Mennonite paska buns. “I figured […]

Unger Conviction

Special Number is Not All That Special

February 8, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Every time the Friesen sisters come up to the front to do their zany rendition of ‘Power in the Blood’ congregants of East Altona Brethren Church are left questioning what exactly was so […]

Quizzes

How ‘Conservative’ Are You: A Guide for Mennonites

January 21, 2017 Andrew

According to recent media portrayal, Mennonites are a simple people who live in community, wear funny clothes, and smuggle drugs from Mexico. However, this characterization is a little misleading as there is wide diversity in […]

Unger Conviction

Mannequin Challenge or…Mennonite Worship Service?

November 20, 2016 Andrew

SHICKLEY, NE Omaha resident Hank Newman took a drive out to Nebraska Mennonite country and was shocked to discover that the recent viral ‘mannequin challenge’ had already reached the area. “I attended a Mennonite worship service […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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