The Ungers of Blumensask have been vehemently opposed to Halloween ever since a particularly stirring sermon from Pastor Ron back in the early 90s. This doesn’t stop them, however, from dressing up as Ken and Barbie, gorging on candy and celebrating “the harvest.”
“Ahh, I love our annual not-Halloween party,” said Ruth Unger, dressed as Weird Barbie. “I just want everyone to know it’s only a coincidence I’m dressed like this on October 31.”
Ruth’s husband Joseph, who says he’s more than Kenough, was equally adamant that their annual costume party had nothing to do with Halloween.
“Let me be unequivocal – the Ungers have not and will not ever participate in the Devil’s day,” said Joseph Unger. “Now where’s the knife? Time to carve the Jack O’Lantern.”
The Ungers also decided they would not be taking their children trick or treating this year but instead would dress them up like Star Wars characters and go door-to-door collecting donations for the Unger family candy stash.
“I pity all those lost souls celebrating Halloween,” said Unger. “As for me and my household, we will dress up, eat candy, decorate the house with cobwebs and pretend it’s all just a coincidence.”