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christmas

Unger Suspicion

Santa’s Complete List of Naughty Mennonites

December 23, 2017 Andrew

Anonymous sources close to Santa Claus have revealed his list of very naughty Mennonites to the Daily Bonnet. The following Mennonites will NOT be receiving presents this year, because they’ve been very very bad! (The […]

Unger & Thirst

Fourth Wiseman Rejected for Bringing Halva

December 23, 2017 Andrew

BETHLEHEM, JUDEA The fourth wiseman, Peter Wiebe, who followed the star all the way from the East Reserve, was apparently turned away at the entrance to Bethlehem this week for bringing the dry chalky substance […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Parents Use Low German Code Language During Holiday Season

December 19, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Parents across southeast Manitoba have been speaking nonstop Plautdietsch this December in order to keep Bethany and Ethan from finding out what they’re getting for Christmas. “It’s great, we can jerad and mulwoakjs all […]

Unger Conviction

Spot the Unwelcome Visitors in these Nativity Scenes

December 17, 2017 Andrew

In each photo below, identify the unexpected Bethlehem visitor.

The Daily Bonnet

Festive Mennonite Couple Fills House to the Brim with Totally Useless Shit

December 13, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local couple Ryan and Diane Hiebert of Abbotsford have busied themselves buying truckloads of completely useless shit for the holiday season. It’s been quite stressful for the couple as their list of people […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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