Mennonite Parents Use Low German Code Language During Holiday Season


Parents across southeast Manitoba have been speaking nonstop Plautdietsch this December in order to keep Bethany and Ethan from finding out what they’re getting for Christmas.

“It’s great, we can jerad and mulwoakjs all day about Ethan’s new flitsepee or Bethany’s new poonkje and the kids would never know,” said Mrs. Friesen. “Oba, they’ll be surprised on Christmas day yet!”

Blumenort families have also been using Plautdietsch to discuss Grandpa’s open heart surgery and Mr. Loewen’s affair with Mrs. Froese.

“I’m sure glad we never forced the kids to learn Low German,” said Mrs. Friesen, “or else I don’t know how on earth the adults would be able to chat about Sally Poetker’s unplanned pregnancy or Helmut Penner’s drinking problem.”

Unbeknownst to their parents, Blumenort children have been covertly taking Plautdietsch lessons from an older cousin who is offering lessons for the price of a single plastic bag of fresh cheese curds.

“They think we don’t know, but been listenining through the reigister and know all about Mr. Unger’s gambling problem and The Dueck’s upcoming divorce. Learning Plautdietsch has been a real eye-opener,” said Bethany. “But most of all, I’m most excited to finally be getting a pony this Christmas!”

Authorities are warning Mennonite parents to learn another code language – maybe Finnish or Swahili.

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