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Unger the Influence

Vandals Caddyshack the Reflecting Pool

June 26, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Vacationers swimming in the Washington, DC Reflecting Pool vacated really quick this afternoon after someone “Caddyshacked” the pool. “I don’t know who did it or how it happened,” said Gary Kehler, “but when […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Abes Rush to Purchase Last Remaining Chocolate Letter A

January 4, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB When word got out that the Winkler Co-op had just one more chocolate letter A in stock, local Abes rushed to get their hands on it. “Diewel! Looks like Abe Kehler beat me […]

Unger & Thirst

Area Woman Buys Extra Advent Calendar to Count Down the Days Until the Start of Her Actual Advent Calendar

November 26, 2023 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local mom Kylie Neufeld, 37, is so excited for the chance to eat a little piece of chocolate each day this December that she has purchased an extra advent calendar which marks the […]

Unger & Thirst

Only 2 Days Left Until Christmas … According to Mennonite Woman’s Chocolate Advent Calendar

December 10, 2022 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Janessa Froese, 37, of Leamington is very excited that Christmas is only a couple days away … at least according to her advent calendar. “It’s been a long and delicious December,” said Froese, […]

Unger & Thirst

“How do they get the cottage cheese in the vereniki?”: Mennonite Man Unlocks the Vereniki Secret

October 26, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Centuries of mystery have surrounded the Russian Mennonite delicacy known as the glums vereniki. Just how do they get the cottage cheese in there? It seems impossible. However, this week, local man Earl […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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