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chocolate

Unger & Thirst

Willy Warkentin Offers 5 Golden Tickets to Visit Cheese Factory

August 6, 2021 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB The elusive and mysterious Willy Warkentin will finally come out of hiding after ten long years and plans to offer public tours of his famous cheese factory. “I have hidden five golden […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Farmers Excited for Bountiful Papsi and Ravel Crop this Year

June 28, 2020 Andrew

FRIEDENSRUH, MB After a good start to the growing season, farmers across the Pembina Valley are enthusiastic about this year’s Papsi and Ravel crop. “We’ve had a good rain in June and then a nice […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Devours Entire Advent Calendar One Week In

December 9, 2019 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Mrs. Jost, 51, was sick and tired of this “one chocolate a day” rule and decided to open all the boxes still left in her annual advent calendar and wolf down all the […]

Quizzes

Quiz: Can You Tell an Oatmeal Raisin Cookie from a Chocolate Chip Cookie?

April 17, 2018 Andrew

One of the greatest tragedies in any young person’s life is to eagerly bite into what you thought was Oma’s delicious chocolate chip cookie only to discover it’s actually oatmeal raisin. It can be traumatizing […]

Unger Suspicion

B.C. Premier Shuts Down Progress on Kinder Surprise Pipeline

April 11, 2018 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Concerned that increased access to thin chocolate eggs and cheap plastic toys may adversely affect the health and welfare of British Columbians, Premier John Horgan announced Tuesday that he would do everything in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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