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Unger Games

Elderly Mennonite Woman Picks Off Johnny Manziel Four Times in CFL Debut

August 9, 2018 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC The Hamilton Tigercats were so confident in their ability to stop controversial former college star Johnny Manziel this week that they decided to bring in an elderly Mennonite woman on defence. And, boy, […]

Unger Games

New Bombers Quarterback Inspired By Patrik Laine’s Mennonite Beard

June 23, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Rookie Winnipeg Blue Bombers quarterback Chris Streveler filled in for an injured Matt Nichols on Friday night and led the team to a 56-10 rout over the Montreal Alouettes. As notable as his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Rents Colour TV to Watch Grey Cup

November 26, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Mr. Peter W. Goossen of Linden, Alberta has decided to splurge on the rental of a huge 22 inch colour television to enjoy the Grey Cup this afternoon with his family. “We’re all […]

Unger Games

NFL Team to Hold ‘Conscientious Objector Appreciation Day’

September 8, 2017 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA After decades of going out of their way to associate American football with the United States military, one NFL team has decided to buck that trend and honour Conscientious Objectors, including members of Mennonites, […]

Unger Games

Canadian Football League to Add Third Team Named ‘Rough Riders’

June 21, 2017 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK In an effort to expand their appeal in central Saskatchewan, the Canadian Football League recently announced expansion to Saskatoon for the 2017 season. The new team is to be known as the ‘Roughriders.’ […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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