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Unger Suspicion

Frasier Institute Petitions Government to Send More Tax Money to Kelsey Grammer

December 12, 2019 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The venerable right-wing think tank ‘The Frasier Institute’ is sick and tired of all the government money that’s being wasted and would prefer if all those tax dollars went directly to Kelsey Grammer […]

Unger Suspicion

CBC Bans Popular Plautdietsch Christmas Song ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte!’

December 12, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Executives at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation have decided to ban the popular Plautdietsch holiday tune ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte’, after thousands of Canadians complained they didn’t know what the heck the words […]

Unger Suspicion

Don Cherry Says Suit is Inspired By Mennonite Floor Patterns

May 31, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON CBC broadcasting legend Don Cherry is known for his loud clothing, but throughout the playoffs he has been sporting “suits inspired by Mennonite floor patterns.” “I’ve been to Neubergthal and the museum there […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Smashes Dragon’s Den Record with Roll Kuchen Company

November 8, 2017 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Lillianne and Gerald Koop of Dalmeny, Saskatchewan shattered the record for largest deal ever on Dragon’s Den with their delicious roll kuchen recipe. The roll kuchen company started a bidding war, with Manjit […]

Unger Suspicion

Anne of Green Gables Adopted by Mennonite Family

April 2, 2017 Andrew

AYLMER, ON After proving to be more than the Cuthberts could handle, beloved red-haired orphan Anne Shirley was reluctantly adopted by a Mennonite family in Aylmer. “We’ve got fourteen or fifteen mouths to feed as it […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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