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candy

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Caught Distributing Yerba Mate on Halloween

November 1, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Children across Altona were coming home with handfuls of yerba mate last night after Mrs. Kroeker ran out of Halloween candy and decided to make do with what she had around the house. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman All Out of Candy Already

October 31, 2022 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Area woman Angie Neufeld, 38, was all out of candy at 5:30 PM this evening and has shut off her lights and gone to bed. “Sorry, kids, better try next door at the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chaos in Steinbach as No One Knows if Halloween is Tonight or Not

October 30, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Thousands of confused Steinbachers took to the streets tonight apparently under the impression that maybe, just maybe, Halloween might be on Saturday this year… or on Sunday like the calendar says, but who […]

Unger & Thirst

Willy Warkentin Offers 5 Golden Tickets to Visit Cheese Factory

August 6, 2021 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB The elusive and mysterious Willy Warkentin will finally come out of hiding after ten long years and plans to offer public tours of his famous cheese factory. “I have hidden five golden […]

Unger & Thirst

Romantic Gesture Turns into Quite the Quandary for Mennonite Woman

March 8, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK All Mr. Wiens was trying to do was bring a little romance into the relationship by purchasing a package of Love Hearts for his wife Doris. “Little did I know they contained […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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