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candy

Unger & Thirst

Local Woman Burns Hole In Her Tongue Eating Cinnamon Hearts

February 14, 2019 Andrew

WHITEMOUTH, MB Local woman Anne Kauenhofen burned a hole straight through her tongue after binging on an entire package of cinnamon hearts during a lonely evening watching “The Bachelor” this Valentine’s Day. “Those things are […]

Unger & Thirst

Jaws of Life Required to Extract Red Candy from Oma’s Candy Bowl

December 28, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Emergency crews were overworked this holiday season extracting red raspberry candies that had become clumped together in Oma Penner’s candy bowl. “Try as they might, the kids just couldn’t get a candy out […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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