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The Daily Bonnet

Net Worth of All Your Favourite Mennonite Celebrities

May 3, 2019 Andrew

If you’ve Google a favourite celebrity in the last few years, you’ve probably noticed that one of the first things to pop up is their estimated net worth. Never wanting to pass up the opportunity […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Writes Cheque for 63 Cents

April 18, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Ruth Kehler, 76, didn’t have the cash with her to pay for the purchase of used margarine containers at Mrs. Wiebe’s garage sale. Thankfully, however, she had her credit union cheque […]

Unger Suspicion

Facebook Crashes; Millions of People Actually Get Shit Done

March 13, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA There was a surge in productivity across the globe today as Facebook and Instagram experienced unprecedented down time. “I can’t believe all the shit I got done today,” said local credit union […]

Unger Suspicion

Canada Pays Off Entire Federal Debt One Day After Marijuana Legalization

October 18, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Less than 24 hours after cannabis became legal in Canada, the federal government announced they had made so much money in tax revenue from the sale of legal weed that they were able […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Son to Take Over the Family Business

September 27, 2018 Andrew

HOUSTON, TX After announcing senior pastor Jim’s retirement from full-time ministry this past week, the Big Tex Gospel Church and Smokehouse in Houston has already chosen a successor to lead the church into the future. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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