The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

business

Unger Suspicion

Music Fans Celebrate as Ticketmaster Earns Zero Dollars this Month

May 28, 2020 Andrew

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA With concerts being cancelled around the globe, the one silver lining for music lovers this year has been the fact that the gougers at Ticketmaster didn’t earn a single penny in recent […]

Unger Suspicion

Joel Osteen Releases New ‘Red Letter Edition’ of His Latest Book

February 24, 2020 Andrew

GRAND RAPIDS, MI In many Bibles, red letters denote the words of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Now, however, they’ll be used to denote the words of inexplicably popular Texas preacher Joel Osteen, who has decided to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandpa Now Charging $8 for Five Minute Piggyback Ride

February 9, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The entrepreneurial spirit of Mennonites will never die it seems, as Mr. Sawatzky of Winkler is now charging eight bucks a ride for a trip around the church lobby and back. “Your back […]

The Daily Bonnet

Undocumented Workers from Morden Flood Into Winkler

January 30, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER,MB With the construction season fast approaching, hundreds of undocumented schjekbenjels from Morden have been flooding into the neighbouring community of Winkler looking for work. “Jauma, that church lobby was full this morning,” said Mrs. […]

Unger Suspicion

Man Who Desperately Needs Life Coach to Become Life Coach

January 24, 2020 Andrew

AKRON, PA Local man Dwayne Funk, 41, who has spent the last 20 years of adult life doing absolutely nothing of worth and whose life is still, to this day, just barely hanging on by […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 3 4 5 … 17 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Unger Becomes First Mennonite Ever to Return Home to Manitoba After Trip to Abbotsford
    April 4, 2022
  • Canadians Gorge on Turkey While Millions of Americans Starve
    October 10, 2016
  • The Proper Pronunciation of Common Russian Mennonite Surnames
    December 30, 2016
  • Manitoba Hockey Fan Emerges from House for the First Time in Many Months
    May 21, 2018
  • New Crowd Limits Still Not Big Enough to Accommodate the Klassens
    May 20, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved