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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Women are Shedding their Düaks During Heat Wave

July 12, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Thousands of Mennonite woman descended AD Penner Park this afternoon to watch the local EMMC-EMC-MC slo-pitch tournament, but soon found they had to make a few adjustment to their attire. “Oba, I’ve experienced […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fully Vaccinated Mennonites Can Remove their Bonnets in Public

May 14, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In a press conference at the White House today President Joe Biden announced that starting next week fully-vaccinated Mennonites will be allowed to remove their bonnets in all public places. “And the men […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Confuses ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ for ‘The Daily Bonnet’

October 14, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local woman Mrs. Hildebrandt was very excited when she browsed the shelves of her local book store to find a book that was seemingly based on her favourite Mennonite satire website. “There was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Exotic Dancer Thrills Audience by Removing Her Düak

July 10, 2017 Andrew

KRONSGARDEN, MB Local woman Mrs. A. Klippenstein, 22, stunned the attendees of a Jack and Jill wedding shower by standing in the middle of the living room and removing her düak. “I’ve heard these wedding showers can […]

Unger Conviction

Streaker Disrupts Mennonite Church Service

June 6, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB The service at East Blumenhof Brethren was rudely interrupted by a “basically naked” young woman who walked in the door claiming she was “visiting for the first time.” Within minutes of her arrival, the […]

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    August 30, 2022
  • Andrew Harris Shatters Record for Most Rushing Yards by a Steinbacher
    August 21, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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