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bible

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Brushes Up on His German to Read the Bible in Its ‘Original Language’

March 3, 2017 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Tired of the notoriously unreliable English translations, local man John B. Kornelsen of Kitchener has been relearning German in order to read the Bible in its original script. “You can’t rely on these […]

Uncategorized

National Hotel Chain to Replace Gideon Bibles With ‘The God Delusion’

February 18, 2017 Andrew

HARRISON, NY According to a recently-leaked company memo, all 200+ locations of mid-range hotel chain StayzInn, will be removing their Gideon Bibles at the end of the month and will replace them with copies of Richard […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Successfully Traces His Ancestors Back to Adam

January 28, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local man Elmer P. Dueck, 84, has spent the last forty years of his life meticulously researching his family tree, and has recently become the first Mennonite ever to trace his ancestry all […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Three King’s Day’ Cripples Winkler Economy

January 7, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local economist Peter Froese estimates that more than $40 million was drained from the Winkler economy yesterday due to the annual Three King’s Day shut-down. “No one knows what the heck this holiday is even […]

Unger Conviction

‘Presumptuous’ Mennonite Man Brings His Own Bible to Church

December 8, 2016 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Reverend V.D. Harder was furious with the “arrogant, and presumptuous behaviour” of one of his parishioners this past Sunday who had the “sheer gall” to bring his own Bible to church. Mr. Friesen is thought to […]

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