VICTORIA, BC
Two folks of Mennonite ancestry, Doerkson and Eby, squared off for the role of Premier of British Columbia last night, with Mennonites turning out in droves to support the Mennonite of their choice.
“Jauma, it was almost like voting for city council in Winkler,” said political pundit I.M. Vogt. “In the end it was the Mennonite who got in, not the other Mennonite. I think what did it was all the Mennonites voting for Mennonites.”
Mennonites historically have a complicated relationship with politics, with some choosing not to run or even vote.
“Not so anymore,” said Vogt. “We basically had a choice between this Mennonite or that one. Even the Green Party was running a Lowan and that’s close enough.”
The Mennonite who beat the other Mennonite said he’s in Victoria to represent the whole province, however, not just the Mennonites.
“And certainly not just the Mennonites who voted for me,” said the Mennonite. “Whether you voted for me or the other Mennonite, I will be the Mennonite Premier for everyone.”
Rumour also has it that some of the Mennonites running didn’t even know they were Mennonites until someone looked it up on Grandma Online, which caused several fights to break out adult Sunday school this morning over what constitutes a “Mennonite” anyway.
