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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Takes Home Top Prize at Annual ‘Humility Awards’

December 12, 2017 Andrew

WICHITA, KS The competition was fierce at the annual Mennonite Humility Awards this year, but, in the end, Mr. Samuel Janzen, 73, of Wichita was awarded the ‘Most Humble Person in Human History’ trophy. “Woohoo! […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Drivers Voted the ‘Best in the Country’

June 5, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For years, visitors and locals alike have commented with great enthusiasm about the superlative driving skills of Steinbach residents. This reputation was solidified on Monday after the National Automobile Association awarded Steinbach Top Prize […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Wins Lifetime Achievement Oscar

February 27, 2017 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA Mennonite woman Deborah Kehler of Bergfeld, Manitoba was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Oscars last night for “more than 70 years of putting a smile on her face and pretending that everything is just […]

The Daily Bonnet

2016 Nobel Peace Prize to be Shared by All Mennonites

October 7, 2016 Andrew

OSLO, NORWAY The Nobel committee in Oslo has taken the unusual step this year in awarding the annual Peace Prize to “every single Mennonite on the planet.” The committee was particularly impressed with Mennonite conflict […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Society of Letters Announces New ‘Fuela Reimer Literary Award’

July 20, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In a press conference on Tuesday, a spokesperson from The Mennonite Society of Letters announced an inaugural literary award named in honour of Abraham ‘Fuela’ Reimer, a 19th century Russian Mennonite of some […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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