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Unger & Thirst

Health Conscious Mennonite Woman Opts for ‘Diet Papsi’

July 4, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area woman Agnes Epp, 71, has decided to make a few changes in her life, including reducing her sugar intake. “So that’s why I’ve gone over to the Diet Papsi,” said Epp. “Do […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Consume Record Numbers of Rapple Chaps During Stanley Cup Final

June 24, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Stores across the Canadian prairies are all out of rapple chaps this evening, as Mennonites stock up for the big game. “We’ve got everything you need for a Stanley Cup party,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Sets Off Rocket After Calling the Kids in for “Launch”

August 20, 2023 Andrew

PINECRAFT, FL Mrs. Kroeker was vacationing with the family in Florida this week, when she inadvertently launched a rocket ship over in Cape Canaveral. “Oba, I was just calling in the kids for launch yet,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Toronto Man Arrested for Pronouncing the Second T

August 21, 2021 Andrew

TORONNO, ON A 31-year-old lifelong Toronno resident, Gord Dueck, has been arrested on charges of mispronouncing the city’s name and will appear in court later this week. “We’re a pretty tolerant and inclusive city, but […]

The Daily Bonnet

Oma Gets ‘Vaxxed’ Just in Time for Summer

June 24, 2021 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Oma Kornelsen was a little reluctant to “get vaxxed yet” but was convinced after she saw the wonderful “Brazilian vax” that her daughter Linda got. “I normally don’t get vaxxed,” said Mrs. Kornelsen, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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