‘Soup and Pie Fundraiser’ Raises Millions and Millions of Dollars


Literally millions of dollars in dimes and quarters were raised at a soup and pie fundraiser in South Blumenort this past week. The unexpected success all seems to be related to Mrs. Friesen’s delicious green bean soup.

“It’s too much money, really,” said event organizer Mrs. Wiebe. “All we wanted was to get a set of new floor hockey sticks for the church gym and now we’ve got all this excess cash.”

Dozens of plastic buckets full of coins were collected and counted after the fundraiser, though the community does not know what they’ll do with it all.

“Maybe we can send a few kids to Steinbach Bible College,” said Mrs. Wiebe. “Or maybe hire a proper youth pastor with a goatee rather than that clean-shaven volunteer guy…I really don’t know.”

As of right now, the money has been stashed away underneath Mrs. Wiebe’s mattress for safe keeping.

“I’ve never seen anything like it in my entire life,” said Mrs. Wiebe, “but I guess that’s what happens when you double the amount of formavorscht in your jreen Schaubel Sup.”

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