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soup

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Concerned About Her Stock After Markets Tumble

March 28, 2025 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area woman Aganetha Barkman rushed home from the quilting bee this afternoon after hearing on the radio that stocks were crashing. “Not on my watch!” proclaimed Barkman, hopping into her CRV. “I remember […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Struggles with Soup at Local Vietnamese Restaurant

July 8, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man, Peter Unger, 41, decided to check out this fabulous soup he’d heard so much about from his friends the Sawatzkys, who pride themselves in their miraculous ability to venture beyond traditional […]

Unger & Thirst

Abbotsford Man Subsists Entirely on Rempel’s Farmer Sausage Soup

September 5, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC For more than 17 years, local man Earl Penner has eaten nothing but Rempel’s Farmer Sausage Soup at Ricky’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner. “Ever since my Martha passed away, I’ve been coming here […]

Unger & Thirst

Entire Package of Saltines Needed to Stomach Mrs. Epp’s Somma Borscht

July 6, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Mr. Penner cruised through an entire package of Premium Plus crackers at the soup and pie fundraiser this week, all in a failed attempt to stomach Mrs. Epp’s dreadful somma borscht. “I […]

Unger & Thirst

‘Soup and Pie Fundraiser’ Raises Millions and Millions of Dollars

February 23, 2020 Andrew

SOUTH BLUMENORT, MB Literally millions of dollars in dimes and quarters were raised at a soup and pie fundraiser in South Blumenort this past week. The unexpected success all seems to be related to Mrs. […]

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