WINKLER, MB
Rumours are swirling in Winkler this week after Chicago White Sox outfielder Tristan Peters became the first Mennonite ever and first Manitoban in almost twenty years to make to first base. The news had young men in Winkler immediately surging with excitement.
“First base? I can’t believe someone from Winkler did that,” said local schekjbenjel David Siemens. “When I talk my buddies in the Co-op parking lot, they say they’re always trying very hard but they never can even make it to first base.”
Siemens believes that he might be able to make it first base if he really tries.
“I’m going to talk to Susie Dueck,” said Siemens. “I almost made it to first base with her last summer.”
Siemens says if he can make it to second base he’ll be the talk of the town.
“If I do that, I’ll be certain to have my name on the front page of the Pembina Valley Online,” said Siemens. “But I’m not holding my breath. First base will be good enough for me.”
So far all Susie Dueck has agreed to is reach out and grab the other end of the “hand-holding stick” the church requires all young people to use.
“Yeah, I can see why Tristan Peters made it to first base,” said Dueck. “That’s understandable. But, David Siemens? Good luck. Maybe try with one of the Loewen sisters.”
With many local tuning it to watch White Sox games on televisions, local churches are already preparing for a mysterious power outage the moment Tristan Peters gets his first home run.
