Niverville Vows to Overtake Steinbach for Most Number of Traffic Lights


With its first traffic light forthcoming this summer, the town of Niverville is eager to surpass rival community Steinbach for the title of most traffic lights in the Southeast.

“Sure, we’ve only got one right now,” said Niverville mayor Martin Dueck, “but like they say, it only takes a spark to get a fire burning.”

The new Niverville traffic lights are not seen as a threat to Steinbach, however, who feels comfortable with their lead.

“Oh, come on, when it comes to traffic lights, we’ll always have the most in the area,” said Steinbach city councillor Joseph Hoeppner. “After all, our young people need some form of recreation.”

Traffic lights are of particular interest to local cruisers who use them for their Main Street drag races.

“Right now the Steinbach circuit is the best, but if Niverville ups their game, you might see some cruisers scope out that scene, too,” said local Main Street cruiser Timmy Unger. “Right now, though, nothing beats Steinbach when it comes to ample infrastructure for conducting repetitive U-turns.”

The inauguration of the Niverville traffic lights are expected to attract a crowd of thousands this summer.

Idiot Spring Breakers Force Sharks to Take Matters Into Their Own Hands
Mennonite Pastor Super Excited as His Live-Streamed Sermon Gets Three Whole Views