Rare Patch of Smooth Road Discovered in Winnipeg


Mr. Thiessen of North Kildonan was utterly shocked to discover a short patch of completely smooth road in Winnipeg during a visit to the Linden Woods neighbourhood this weekend.

“What the hell is this?” yelled Mr. Thiessen, slamming on his breaks. “I wasn’t sure my vehicle could handle freshly poured concrete, so I slowed right down to 20. I’m just not used to these road conditions.”

The brief jaunt down the smooth patch of street was a real treat for Mr. Thiessen, one that he had not experienced since a trip to Calgary back in the 80s.

“I finally made it through the third track of that Bill Gaither album without the CD skipping,” said Thiessen. “This truly is the best day of my life!”

The City of Winnipeg has no plans to fix any of the other streets, however, and still recommend drivers purchase large SUVs and Pick-up trucks that are capable of handling the city’s notoriously crappy roads. The Manitoba government, which controls provincial highways, issued a similar recommendation later in the day.

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