News Flash: Belize Exists!


Numerous reports out of the Central American country of Belize today suggest that it exists.

“We’re in Blue Creek Colony, Belize this morning and look around you. It’s here,” said reporter Johan Kornelsen. “Despite numerous claims to the contrary, all evidence points to the fact that Belize exists.”

The existence of Belize had been in doubt for quite some time, as geography students throughout North America could not locate it on a map or identify a single distinguishing characteristic about it.

“The news of Belize’s existence has come as a great surprise to every single person in the United States,” reports Kornelsen. “In a recent study, 9 out of 10 Americans thought that Belize was one of Joey’s girlfriends on Friends.”

The news of Belize’s existence made headlines around the globe, though most American papers were too busy reporting on more important matters like the rumoured Taylor Swift-Ariana Grande collab.

“Yup, there’s a lot that’s shocking about Belize. We exist. We’re just southeast of Mexico. We even speak English,” said Kornelsen. “Okay, well some of us tend to prefer Plautdietsch…”

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