Local farmer and bachelor Peter Miller, 27, gave his bright red Massey Ferguson a quick green and yellow paint job this past weekend in order to seduce one of the Smucker sisters, who come from a long line of John Deere owners.
“I normally date Massey drivers only, but there’s just something about the way those Smuckers wear their ankle-length dresses that’s appealing to me. I don’t know what it is,” said Miller, giving his new “John Deere” a spin around the Smucker farm. “I’ve really got my eyes on Mary, but Edith will do.”
The Smucker sisters were instantly impressed by Miller’s prowess with the tractor.
“I never saw our John Deere pull a load like that,” said Edith. “After three or four laps around the property, I was ready to give that young Peter Miller my hand in marriage.”
Mary Smucker, however, was not going to take defeat so easily.
“Green and yellow really gets me going,” said Mary. “Edith can marry one of the Troyer boys. All they have is an old Allis Chambers. I’ll stick with the John Deere man!”
Miller is not sure when he’ll reveal his tractor’s true identity to his new bride, but figures she’ll have to stick around after they have a few children.
“I’ll maintain the paint job for a few years,” said Miller. “By that time, she’ll be hooked, and I’ll be free to let my red power shine!”