Mennonites Shocked as Oscar Announcer Pronounces ‘Toews’ Correctly


The most shocking moment in Sunday’s Oscar broadcast was not a slap or an errant envelope, but the fact that the Oscar folks pronounced ‘Toews’ correctly.

“Oh, great, here it comes. He’s going to say Toes, I know it. Based on the novel by Miriam Toes,” said Erin Unger at her Steinbach Oscar Party. “I’ll just be glad if he can say ‘Miriam’ correctly.”

However, much to Unger’s surprise the announcer totally nailed it.

“I couldn’t believe it. At first I thought I was hearing things. Did he just say Toews like Taves?” said Unger. “Never in my whole life have I heard an outsider get one of our names correct. All I can say is he must have had help.”

The Academy reportedly spent $80 million in pronunciation lessons, with at least half of that dedicated to getting ‘Toews’ right.

“I think it was all a setup,” said Unger. “They always need a shocking moment like this to keep up the ratings.” 

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