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Unger Suspicion

Oscar Red Carpet Replaced with Mennonite Quilt

March 16, 2023 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Things were a little different at the 95th annual Academy Awards this year, as the signature red carpet was replaced with a massive Mennonite quilt made by the quilting bee ladies at the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Shocked as Oscar Announcer Pronounces ‘Toews’ Correctly

March 14, 2023 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA The most shocking moment in Sunday’s Oscar broadcast was not a slap or an errant envelope, but the fact that the Oscar folks pronounced ‘Toews’ correctly. “Oh, great, here it comes. He’s going […]

Unger & Thirst

Delicious Rhubarb Platz Found in Sarah Polley’s Oscar Gift Bag

March 13, 2023 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Although no one is quite sure how it got in there, cast and crew of the Oscar winning film Women Talking found a delicious tray of platz in each of their Oscar gift bags […]

The Daily Bonnet

A List of Every Mannanite Film Ever Nominated for Bast Picture

January 24, 2023 Andrew

BY: JAKOB PLATT, FALM AXPERT Oba, so the only movies I aver saw were at the Game and Fish Days there in Schteinback or maybe at the John Deere dealer. This makes me the most […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Sign Top Free Agent Enforcer Will Smith

April 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Desperately needing to shore up their physical game if they have any shot at the playoffs, the lowly Winnipeg Jets inked the hottest enforcer currently available – Will Smith. “I’m not sure how […]

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