SASKATOON, SK
Area woman Anne Froese, 71, has been taken into custody by Saskatoon policy this weekend after it was discovered she had tried to pass off a Costco pumpkin pie as her own.
“When I go to a Froese gathering I expect a Froese-made pumpkin pie,” said granddaughter Susie. “I hate to see grandma locked up like this, but I hope she learns her lesson.”
The police also seized several store-bought turkeys, rather than the farmed raised Hutterite turkeys the Froeses are used to.
“Grandpa was also taken into custody for fraud,” said Susie. “The police caught him knipsing from a full 2 centimetres across the back line.”
Eventually, so many in the Froese family were arrested, that the police decided to just stick around for a while to see if any other crimes were committed.
“We got little Timmy for not closing his eyes during grace,” said Constable Friesen, “and cousin Doris for not coming up with anything to be thankful for when they were going around the table and taking turns. I mean, sure, she said family and turkey. Everyone says family and turkey. That’s simply not good enough, Doris.”
By the end of the afternoon, the entire Froese family was in jail and will be held there until the Froese Christmas gathering this winter.
“But good luck reserving a place to hold the gathering while you’re behind bars,” said Constable Friesen.
Rumours are already spreading that Friesen may have been a little aggressive with the arrests just so he could get first dibs on booking the common room at Grandma’s manor.
