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thanksgiving

Unger & Thirst

Failure to Preheat the Oven Has Mennonite Family Scrambling for Chicken Chef

October 12, 2022 Andrew

CARMAN, MB The Hiebert family of Carman were all raring up for their first non-illegal Thanksgiving dinner in three years, when Taunte Helen’s failure to preheat the oven caused such a long delay that they […]

Unger Suspicion

Americans Accuse Canada of “Premature Thankfulness”

October 9, 2022 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Millions of Americans have signed a petition to stop Canada from celebrating Thanksgiving early. “This premature thankfulness has got to stop,” said Mr. Frey of Elkhart, Indiana. “I’ve got some cousins up there […]

Unger & Thirst

Thanksgiving Leftovers Miraculously Resurrected After Three Days

October 12, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Days after being forgotten about in a margarine container at the back of the fridge, a plate of Thanksgiving leftovers were resurrected from the dead by local plumber and church elder, Peter […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Uncle Barred from Thanksgiving Gathering after Forgetting His ID and Vax Card

October 10, 2021 Andrew

ROSENHIMMEL, SK Oncle Thomas was turned away at the biannual Peters Thanksgiving gathering in Rosenhimmel this week after he conveniently “forgot” his proof of vaccination. “Oba, I think I left it at home somewhere,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering

October 13, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Uncle Henry, 71, had his own nephew Peter, 20, in a headlock this Sunday after Mrs. Friesen didn’t keep a tight enough rein on the political discussions around the dinner table. “I should […]

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SATIRE BY ANDREW UNGER, AUTHOR OF THE DAILY BONNET

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