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thanksgiving

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Arrested for Buying Her Pumpkin Pie at Costco

October 12, 2026 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Area woman Anne Froese, 71, has been taken into custody by Saskatoon policy this weekend after it was discovered she had tried to pass off a Costco pumpkin pie as her own. “When […]

Unger & Thirst

Silly Americans Don’t Even Realize it’s Thanksgiving

October 12, 2025 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN In a shocking turn of events, more than 300 million Americans went completely without Thanksgiving dinner this weekend. “There wasn’t even any pumpkin pie,” said Mrs. Eby of Kitchener, Ontario, who has been […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family Consumes One Last Watermelon Before Switching to Pumpkin for the Next 8 Months

September 28, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Brandts of Winkler gathered at the Bethel Heritage Park this weekend to share the very last watermelon and Papsi of the season before they consume nothing but pumpkins for the next eight […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Accidentally Puts Up Halloween Decorations for Thanksgiving

October 7, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Lois Unger, 41, of Steinbach was mesmerized by the wide array of seasonal decorations at her local Shoppers Drug Mart this week and plastered her house with her holiday-themed purchases. “Ahhh, I just […]

Unger & Thirst

Failure to Preheat the Oven Has Mennonite Family Scrambling for Chicken Chef

October 12, 2022 Andrew

CARMAN, MB The Hiebert family of Carman were all raring up for their first non-illegal Thanksgiving dinner in three years, when Taunte Helen’s failure to preheat the oven caused such a long delay that they […]

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    March 24, 2018
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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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