Five Nights at Frida’s is Scariest Mennonite Movie Ever


Fans piling out of the theatre in La Crete, Alberta this week have declared Five Nights at Frida’s the scariest Mennonite movie ever made.

“It’s about a young boy who has to spend a whole week at his spinster Aunt Tina’s place,” said movie fan Timmy Krahn. “It’s nothing but Danny Orlis books, Scrabble matches, and Back to the Bible broadcasts. After just one evening, he’s nearly bored to death …literally.”

Taunte Tina also requires her nephew Darren to pray before all this meals, eat all his vegetables, be in bed by 8, and to spend each and every evening doing chores around the house.

“And then she takes him to an evening foot washing service at the EMB church,” said Krahn. “It was too much. I had to look away.”

After five terrible nights at Frida’s, without any cable TV or Nintendo or anything, the young Mennonite boy resigns himself to his new lifestyle and decides to get baptized and join the church.

“It’s a really scary movie,” said Krahn. “I’m not sure everyone could make it all the way through. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Five Night at Frida’s has been so successful that a spin-off horror film entitled Five Early Mornings with Oncle Jake is already in production.

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