Mennonite Woman Totally Hooked on Bubble Wrap


Mrs. Ens was super excited for all the crap her husband Dan’s been ordering online these days since it means she can spend her evenings sitting with her feet up on the patio in the backyard popping bubble wrap.

“Every time a package comes to the door I get a surge of energy,” said Mrs. Ens. “I instantly rip it open, toss Dan his drill bit or what have you, and begin a-poppin’! Ah, this is the life!”

Mrs. Ens’ bubble wrap addiction is so intense that her adult children are starting to worry about her.

“She doesn’t even pass the perogies at the dinner table,” said daughter Melissa. “She’s just popping and popping. She can’t stop. She doesn’t even fold her hands for grace anymore!”

Mrs. Ens has even been bringing her bubble wrap to church on Sundays and has received a scolding from the pastor on more than a one occasion.

“I get it. It’s fun popping those tiny little bubbles,” said Pastor Susan, “but can’t she confine her popping to the kitchen table like the rest of us!”

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