HEAVEN
Pastor David Thiessen, who passed away more than 30 years ago, was shocked to discover that heavy metal icon Ozzy Osbourne had joined him in Heaven this week.
“I’m more than a little surprised, I must say,” said Thiessen. “I preached against that kind of music for decades. Until now, as far as I knew we only had hymn singers up here.”
Thiessen was also under the impression that there was some kind of requirement to at least speak a little Plautdietsch.
“Admittedly I couldn’t always understand what Ozzy was saying,” said Thiessen. “I guess it was some kind of Low German after all.”
Thiessen was also mortified to discover that there was no preclusion against long hair and black nail polish.
“Who knew?” said Thiessen. “Apparently God looks not at outward appearances, but at the heart.”
(photo credit: Carlos Varela/CC)
