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The Daily Bonnet

Canadian Mennonites Upset as their Team, the Germans, are Eliminated from the World Cup

December 4, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Thousands of Mennonite soccer fans across Canada were really upset this week after the team they were really rooting for, the Germans, were eliminated from the World Cup yet again. “Ugh, typical Germany, […]

Unger Games

New Card Game ‘German Blitz’ Fails to Catch On

November 30, 2022 Andrew

BERLIN, GERMANY After visiting Pennsylvania last year, German inventor Andreas Fischer discovered a favourite new card game and decided to make a version of his own. Unfortunately for Fischer the game has not really caught […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Desperate to Find Some Relation to Davy Klaassen

November 23, 2022 Andrew

LOMA PLATA, PARAGUAY Moments after Dutch midfielder Davy Klaasen scored his first World Cup goal, millions of Mennonites scoured their family history books to see if maybe, just maybe, they were somehow related. “Oba, well, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Now in Charge of British Columbia

November 18, 2022 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC After having his name selected in the traditional Mennonite manner – by drawing lots – a man from Kitchener, Ontario by the name of David Eby is now Premier of British Columbia. “Well, […]

Unger Games

Generous Rider Fans Donate Unwanted Grey Cup Tickets to Local Thrift Store

October 23, 2022 Andrew

REGINA, SK After being eliminated from playoff contention this week, thousands of Saskatchewan Roughrider fans have been donating their unwanted Grey Cup tickets at local MCC thrift stores. “We’re getting in Grey Cup tickets by […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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