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Unger Games

Unger Games

Jets Disgusted After Disgusting Performance Leads Coach to be Disgusted

April 30, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a disgustingly quick exit from the NHL playoff, the Winnipeg Jets players are absolutely disgusted to discover their own coach was disgusted with their disgusting performance. “I’m absolutely disgusted that he’d call […]

Unger Games

Toews Plays Final Game for Chicago

April 15, 2023 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL There was a standing ovation in Chicago this week after former Canadian cabinet minister Vic Toews played his final game for the local NHL squad. “He didn’t score a lot of points in […]

Unger Games

Jets Add Mennonite Sunday School Teacher to Lowly Power Play Unit

March 23, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Desperate to get things going on their lacklustre power play, the Winnipeg Jets have brought in All-Star forward Mrs. Janzen of the Altona Mennonite Church Sunday School floor hockey league. “We’re not moving […]

Unger Games

Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt

March 20, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA The quilting club at the Fresno First and Last Mennonite Church received an anonymous donation of fabric this past week, which they immediately set out to fashioning into a wonderful new quilt. “I […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Players Offered Part Time Jobs at Portage Place

March 11, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Rumours are swirling about the potential sale of Portage Place to True North, which is really exciting for all the Jets players clamouring to get part time custodial jobs. “I realized hockey wasn’t […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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