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Unger Suspicion

Unger Games

Calgary Defeats Winnipeg 5 Bogus Slashing Calls to 3

February 4, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB In an effort to get more pacifists watching the game, the NHL has imposed a new minimum of five bogus slashing calls per game. “The team with the fewest bogus slashing calls wins,” […]

Unger Suspicion

The GameStop Frenzy Explained for Mennonites (Using an Easy to Understand Zoat Analogy)

February 1, 2021 Andrew

Everybody’s been talking about GameStop this and GameStop that. Shorting stocks and hedge funds. And Reddit? Oba! But what does it all mean yet? Well thankfully we’ve got Kjnels Reima, Kleine Gemeinde church treasurer, to […]

Unger Suspicion

A List of Things American Mennonites Can Buy with their $600 Stimulus Checks

January 23, 2021 Andrew

The check (sic) is in the mail! To ease the troubled financial situation that many Americans are facing these days, Senators and Members of Congress who make $174,000 a year have generously consented to sending […]

Unger Games

Empty Arenas Give Canadian Fans an ‘Authentic Florida Hockey Experience’

January 18, 2021 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Eager to share an authentic Florida hockey experience with its northern fans, the NHL has decided to play the entire season in empty arenas. “I think those Canadian fans don’t know what it’s […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Tin Foil Hats Over Masks’ Group to Stage Massive Protest

January 17, 2021 Andrew

TORONTO, ON It’s a movement that has swept the nation in recent months and this weekend the infamous Tin Foil Hats Over Masks group is planning to stage protests in cities across the country. “First […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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