TOKYO, JAPAN
The brand new outfit for the 2021 Canadian Olympic Team has been revealed: a pair of dirty Mennonite overalls and shit kicker boots.
“We wanted the team to stand-out from the crowd, so we drove around rural Saskatchewan and–voila!—the Olympic team uniform was born,” said designer Peter Dick. “I had real difficulty getting Mr. Klassen to give up his overalls, but he agreed once I bribed him with a bit of zoat.”
Dick then spent the rest of the afternoon acquiring hundreds of clothing items at the Hebert MCC store.
“The track team is really looking forward to clomping down the lane in these shit kickers,” said Dick. “And the high jump? Well, they practically fainted with excitement when I showed them the steel toe boots they had to wear.”
Canada’s swim team was also very enthusiastic about having to wear some manure-encrusted denim overalls as opposed to their usual Speedos.
“We may not win any medals, but at least we’re staying modest,” said Canadian Olympic swimmer Jeremy Robinson, sporting a fancy new pair of overalls with one flap let down for maximum sexiness (and to reveal the Montreal ’76 tattoo on his chest). “If I don’t get on the podium, I’m hoping at least to attract a Goerzen girl from over in Tofield or something.”
Meanwhile the US Olympic team has just revealed a fancy new uniform to represent the diversity of the nation, including a red MAGA hat, an Ed Hardy t-shirt, and a pair of khaki chinos from The Gap.
(photo credit: grendelkhan/CC)
