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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Still Can’t Get that Pink Pie

February 17, 2021 Andrew

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON Dwight Braun, 63, of Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario has been one pink pie away from winning this game of Trivial Pursuit that he started in 1981. “Those entertainment questions are absolutely killer,” said Braun. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

Famed Novelist John Steinbach to Release New Novel ‘Of Mice and Menno’

February 11, 2021 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Famed novelist and Fresno Pacific University graduate John Steinbach is hoping to upstage his rival from Salinas with the release of his new novel Of Mice and Menno. “Of Mice and Menno tells the […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Prime Minister Finally Offers Formal Apology for Nickelback

February 10, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Exactly twenty years after Nickelback’s first big hit “How You Remind Me” rose to the top of the charts around the world, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has issued a formal apology to […]

Unger Games

Calgary Defeats Winnipeg 5 Bogus Slashing Calls to 3

February 4, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB In an effort to get more pacifists watching the game, the NHL has imposed a new minimum of five bogus slashing calls per game. “The team with the fewest bogus slashing calls wins,” […]

Unger Suspicion

The GameStop Frenzy Explained for Mennonites (Using an Easy to Understand Zoat Analogy)

February 1, 2021 Andrew

Everybody’s been talking about GameStop this and GameStop that. Shorting stocks and hedge funds. And Reddit? Oba! But what does it all mean yet? Well thankfully we’ve got Kjnels Reima, Kleine Gemeinde church treasurer, to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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